Dear Chain Smoking Mom…..

Dear Charlie (is it ok if I call you Chaz?),

Where do I begin?

Let’s start with the basics: You smoked over 3,000 cigarettes during the nine months you were pregnant with your daughter Lily, claiming it was “making her heart stronger by making it work harder.”

It begs me to ask, “Have you been drinking from the crazy fountain?” I mean, you’re making all those “Teen Moms” look like June Cleaver over here.

I don’t know, maybe you are onto something: This whole making your baby stronger stuff. Because we all know how “strong” hearts get when they have to work harder. Just ask Chris Farley, John Belushi, and John Candy. Oh wait, you can’t- BECAUSE THEY ARE DEAD.

Oh, and then there’s the part about how you said how much you love smoking and you weren’t ready to give it up. You know what? There’s a lot of things I wasn’t ready to give up either: Like sleep, my waistline, and going to the bathroom alone. But guess what? WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD.

Sorry about the all caps, I don’t mean to yell, I just want to make sure that the two brain cells you have left (who are obviously fighting) are processing what I’m trying to tell you right now.

I get that quitting smoking is stressful. And sure, stress isn’t good for pregnancy. But just in case you hadn’t heard, smoking during pregnancy causes low birth weight, prematurity, cleft palette, asthma, and it could even alter your baby’s DNA so much that your future grandchildren will be affected by your behavior. Talk about stress!

There’s just one thing I need you to clarify though. When you told BBC3, “It’s making the baby use its heart on its own in the first place, so that when it comes out, it’s going to be able to do them [sic] things by itself,” I’m not gonna lie: I was a little confused.

What exactly are them things? Things like making its heart beat, breathing, and living? Because I hate to break it to you girlfriend, but babies do them things involuntarily (that means they do them all by themselves).

Finally, your story makes my heart break for all the women out there who can’t have children. This might be an outrageous thought, but you don’t deserve the gift of motherhood. There are countless women out there dying to become mothers, who would take every precaution necessary to protect their unborn children, and who are probably sick at the thought of the unnecessary risks you took during pregnancy. I know I am.

I’m not a praying person, but I think I will make an exception for you. I pray that your precious baby girl won’t suffer from your poor choices, I pray that you will learn from your mistakes and publicly express remorse so that the other smoking pregnant women in this world might be inspired to give it up. Lastly, I pray that you get the help you need because it’s obvious that your mental health has taken a serious beating.

Oh, and I’m also crossing my fingers that your ignorance isn’t hereditary. We certainly don’t need any more of that in this world.

Love,

Me

*In case you are not familiar with the UK woman who this letter is intended for-  here’s the story from Daily Mail Online.

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Morgan is a Domestic Goddess and mother to two girls, Big Chick and Baby Chick. Before she became a mother in 2007, she worked as a nanny for three different families. This means that she has had goldfish stuck to her car floor for a very long time. While Morgan loves all baby and child related gear, she has a particular fondness for strollers. When Morgan isn't outside enjoying the Southern California weather, she also writes for her own website: http://www.thelittlehenhouse.com

13 COMMENTS

  1. Well, I guess it’s a “got me”! As I sit here with egg on my face ….. I will take the time to read more thoroughly in the future! Sorry folks! 😉

  2. People, use your heads … please! I totally understand your anxiety over this topic, and it is certainly an emotional issue, but, 3000 cigarettes? Really? That would be 150 packs of cigarettes per day – and as an ex-smoker I can tell you that that would be impossible to do! I didn’t look at the year of the letter, but think of the cost involved in that also! I think it’s a “gotcha”!

  3. Amen!!!! Thats crazy!!! I have always struggled with quitting smoking but when I found out I was pregnant with my son I wouldn’t have even given a SINGLE thought to smoking! That poor innocent baby in there has no choice!!! Makes me sick

  4. Wow! This a great article! I smoked for 15 years until the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, then quit. I unfortunately only lasted about 18 months after she was born and started smoking again 🙁 I feel TERRIBLY guilty just for smoking alone! She doesn’t see me, I don’t smoke inside our house, but I still feel horribly guilty about it!

  5. How disgusting is this. I question why she cut down after a few weeks if she really thought there was nothing wrong with it. There are so many deserving people that will never have a child and here she is harming the most precious gift. It is too bad they have legalized products that cause so much damage to us all.

    @Deborah B Abortion is a choice as is anything else in this world. I am not for abortion in ALL circumstance but sometimes the reasoning outweighs the result. Someone who was sexually abused would benefit from these services. It is not always used for birth control!

  6. Another sad tragic situation. There seem to be so many lump in throat stories about children / babies these days.

    So from what I understand this CHarlie was being “filmed” for reality tv and probably was also egged on by the production/producers to continue this to provoke a reaction (so I think blame can also be placed on their shoulders too – potential for a future law suit from the child??!). People do STUPID things to get on tv – and get their 15 mins of fame. It’s a sad indication of where society is headed when the glory of “celebrity” is seen as the thing in life to aspire to, for the mind numblingly dumb. Poor child. She has an idiot for a mother. But society too is also to blame… if we didn’t have crap reality tv, we wouldn’t have the plague of so-called stars like Snookie, and her ilk. This sad excuse for a human (Charlie) is to be pitied as is her poor little baby. No matter the tragedy of this situation, you can’t just go around taking peoples kids off them for doing things that are dumb but legal, even if it is stupid and we don’t like it. In my opinion, I’d ban cigarettes totally (will never happen as the lobby is too lucrative in the USA) but an easier target is to get rid of reality tv and then the fools that love this and aspire to be on it won’t be encouraged to publicise or think it’s clever to display this type of STUPID, IDIOTIC, INSANE and SICK behaviour because they thrive on attention. But that’s just my opinion and sadly Charlie is allowed to execute hers….

  7. Well said Lady!
    She doesn’t deserve the gift that God gave us as a woman, “Motherhood”.
    May God clear her thoughts & actions to became a better human being in order to become a better Mother.
    Who said that being a Mother is easy?
    Prayers for her little girl as well.

  8. Especially disheartening for those of us who did not smoke, or do anything else that is proven to cause harm to babies and STILL have a child with debilitating asthma and allergies. How sad.

  9. I liked your letter. 🙂 It’s hard to find words to respond to such a person!
    I would love to also add that I feel this letter could apply to women who abort their babies. Talk about not caring about their unborn baby!! Even worse than just smoking during pregnancy! 🙁 And with today’s technology showing how early a baby can feel pain, too. I feel for those women, too–many who have been lied to about the sweet little life developing inside them–being told it’s a “mass” that can’t feel anything. And there are all those women, who, like you mentioned, are dying to be able to get pregnant. Adoption is the answer!

    Thanks for reading. 🙂

    The world needs

  10. Ok, somehow I missed this story, but NICE letter. I’m totally dumbfounded by this story, it’s enough to make me want to scream. Great response though.

  11. Thank you.

    I’m too busy pounding my forehead on the table to write anything coherent about this woman.

    So… thank you.

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