When people tell you proudly “She potty trained at 18 months!” or they ask you “Oh, is he still in diapers?” send them this link. Because what they’re all failing to tell you is what life is like AFTER the potty training. Is it all roses and sunshine? Oh no. No, it is not.
I speak to you as the mother of a three year old who recently decided to potty train herself (the three year old, not me). Here are some things that those proud, my-kid-is-already-potty-trained-and-yours-isnt parents don’t tell you about the weeks after potty training a child.
1. You live in constant fear- Do you need to pee? Are you sure you don’t need to pee? Don’t drink too much water, you’ll need to pee again!
2. You have to bring along extra clothes just incase there is an accident. And there will be!
3. Have you seen how disgusting public restrooms can be? Especially at parks? GROSS. Do you want your tiny child going on that huge, filthy toilet? So you’re holding them up there? And what will you do with your other child while you’re helping the first one?
4. Wherever you go, you need to always know where the toilet is. I feel like one of those airline hostesses who can point out all the exits on an airplane- I can point out all the bathrooms at every nearby mall.
5. You will hear “Mommy, I need to go to the potty right now!” while you are driving. You will pull over, get out, arrange your child on their portable potty, wait, wait, and wait some more, and…. Nothing. Fake smile now mommy!
6. You will be in the middle of a great conversation with your friends and you will feel the tug on your leg which means: stop your fun, and take me to go pee. Now.
7. At some point, you will deal with a wet bed and poop in underwear. Or pee on the floor. Or poop on the floor. No-one tells you that, do they?
8. And right when you think “My kid is a pro!” they will pee. In public. In their clothes. The one time you happen to have no extra clothes. Brilliant.
Two words: DIAPERS ROCK!!! 😉