In just a few months, my oldest will be three years old. And in those three years, I am a little embarrassed to admit that I have picked up some pretty gross habits that I didn’t have before becoming a parent. But if you think about it, you’re probably doing a few of these gross things too, and some do them without even thinking twice.
Which habits have you picked up since joining the parent club?
- My instinct is to actually try to catch my child’s vomit if there’s no bucket around.
- I am now the mother who licks my finger to clean off my toddler’s messy face.
- Boogers are nasty. Kids picking their noses are nasty. But I have no problem reaching my fingernail up my baby’s nose to fish out a dried boogie every once and a while.
- Most of the time, I forget to add my one comfy bra to the washer while tackling our mounds of laundry each week. So it goes quite a bit longer than it should before getting washed.
- No I am not sucking on my newborn baby’s fingers. I’m biting her nails to cut them, and then spitting them out. Well, most of the time I’m spitting them out. It’s not MY fault they are so tiny and soft and sometimes I can’t find it on my tongue so that probably means I swallowed it…
- Pacifier falls on the floor and there’s no place to wash it? Suck it off and give it back to the baby. He’s immune to my germs since I’m his mom, right?
- I promise I’m a good mom. Even if I forget to bathe my child and you can actually see the dirt buildup on her feet.
- And speaking of bathing (or lack thereof), when was the last time I really showered? Three days ago? Oh gosh…more than that? Have I at least changed my underwear?
- Half of my meals consist of eating my toddler’s cold, squishy leftovers.
- Wiping a bum that is not my own is a daily occurrence.
- I know I don’t feed my kids enough veggies. Know how I know? Because they rot in my fridge drawer instead.
- I must love my child because for NO ONE ELSE would I sniff their butt to check for poop that might cause a rash if left unattended.
What gross habits have you developed since becoming a parent? Share them in the comments! I won’t judge. I’m in no position to call the kettle black!