Have you ever looked at your toddler and thought “You should be a police officer with all those questions!” I go through this kind of thing everyday with my 2.5 year old, and so I started listing all the jobs we should be outsourcing to toddlers. I don’t just mean if they paint, they should be a painter or if they help you cook, they should be a chef. I mean all those less obvious jobs. It turns out, there’s quite a few forms of employment that I think toddlers would be great at.
Toddler Highway Patrol Officer
Job Requirements- Ability to tell driver what they’re doing wrong. Every single time they do it.
“Mom! Light is green! Go!”
“Dad! Don’t drive fast! It’s not good.”
“Why are you honking?”
Job Requirements- Ability to notice when a toy has been moved, a cookie has disappeared, the wrapper of a candy has appeared in the trash can that they didn’t eat. Once, I left the corner, the CORNER of a wrapper out. And she knew…. Boy, did she know.
“Where’s my *insert name of toy that hasn’t been touched in one month here*”
“I want my cookie”
“What’s that in the trash?”
Toddler Interior Designer
Job Requirements – Ability to drag perfectly placed furniture to pretty much anywhere and everywhere. Especially in stores.
Language Requirements –
“I moved it! See?”
Toddler Actor/Actress in a Drama
Job Requirements – The ability to switch on the waterworks when people are around, most notably grandparents. And switch them off as soon as some form of their favorite food/cartoon/toy is offered.
“But grandma, I want THAT one!”
“Grandpa, it’s MINE!”
Job Requirements- A younger sibling is needed for this employment opportunity. Your natural ability to
tell them what to do teach will be a bonus.
“Don’t touch that baby brother!”
“That’s mine baby sister!”
“Don’t put that in your mouth!”
Job Requirements- Determination to get what you want.
“Please can I have some more?” (to which the reply is no more, you’ve had enough) “Okay, please can I have just one more/a little?”
Job Requirements – A curiosity in every. little. thing and constant questioning of every. little. thing.
I could go on, but I must stop. What are some jobs you think your toddler should have? Leave a comment below!