My job vs. My husband’s job

Disclaimer: I am in no way being ungrateful for being a stay-at-home mom, nor am I saying working moms have an easier time than stay-at-home moms, nor am I saying my husband’s job is easier than mine. This post was simply to see a little humor in a temper-tantruming-toddler situation 🙂

While visiting my parents in London, my daughter began this unbelievably loud screaming when she didn’t get her way. It was as if she wasn’t even my child or suddenly grew a new pair of lungs. My parents put it down to them “spoiling her.” That’s great and everything, but I have to go back home to the States with this kid. During one of her screaming fits, I started thinking about how lucky my husband is to go to work. Yes, I was fantasizing about going to work. Don’t judge- my fantasies before having a child were way cooler by the way, but anyway, I digress.

I started thinking about how going to work would be different to staying at home. I started comparing my job to my husband’s. So here are some of my comparisons. Because this is my fantasy, there will be no negatives like getting stuck in traffic etc.

Work Breaks

My husband works from 7.30am to 4.30pm. In that time, he gets two 15 minute breaks and a one hour lunch break. I work from 8am to 10pm. During my occasional one hour lunch break, if my boss chooses to nap, I get to clean messes and spills, do laundry, wash dishes, call repair men/dentists/doctors/AAA and if I’m really lucky, cook dinner.

The Bathroom

My husband gets to pee by himself at work. My boss accompanies me to all toilet breaks. She likes to hand me toilet paper or try to close the toilet lid on my back.

Parties

A firm will almost always have a holiday party. Someone else will organize it, someone else will pay for it, someone else will clean up after everyone leaves, and all employees have to do is attend and have fun. In my job, the parties are always organized by me and the bills are taken care of by me. I get to run around checking the kids/parents are all having fun/eating/drinking and guess who gets to clean up after? Lucky old me!

Eating lunch

My husband heats up his food to make sure it’s at the right temperature. He gets to eat it at his own pace. If my food is cold, I don’t care, it’s FOOD. If my food has been leftover for longer than I might like, I don’t care, it’s FOOD. It gets eaten in 5.6 seconds. Because that’s all the time my boss allows. And even then, she’s watching over me.

Bonus

At the end of the year, someone usually says “Thanks for all your great work. Here’s an additional $$$ dollars for your dedication.” After all my hard work, I usually get a bedtime temper tantrum, and have to chase my boss to get her pajamas on her and get her into bed. Wouldn’t it be great if all moms got an end of year bonus? Nothing fancy, I know the government is broke, but let’s just imagine if we got $100 to ourselves. OURSELVES. We could all go for a long, quiet, child-free massage. I might need to put this to Obama.

Paid Vacation

My husband takes time off work and gets paid for it! If I take time off work, it’s usually to go run errands and no-one pays me for it. And if he gets sick, he has a live in nurse (me). I don’t dare get sick. My boss might fire me.

Despite the differences, I love my job. And my boss. Although I do think I need to speak to her about my increased workload and perhaps one toilet break alone a day…