My toddler is obsessed with my cell phone

I thought I would be fighting with my child about her cell phone usage years from now. I thought our fights would involve music blasting in her room, a closed door, and words like “fair” and “high school” and “everybody else.” But in our house, that’s not the case. In our house, battles over the cell phone have already begun with my toddler, and she’s only two!

Now, whenever someone calls for me, my toddler reads that as someone calling for her. So, in answering the phone, she comes running over with her standard, “No! Not you mom! Not you!” It’s for her, she says. It’s always for her. Whether I’m talking to my husband or mom or sister, it (the phone) is always for her. It’s cute in many ways that she gets what the phone is now and that she can kind of talk into it and get responses from the other end in plain English, but…that’s about it.

Last month, to get her not to ask for the phone, I started pretending that instead of talking to someone she knows, I was talking to her doctor about, of course, the shots she’ll need to get the next time we go into the office. I know. It’s horrible. And you should NOT try this at home. But I was desperate. My sister who was on the other end the first time I tried this even did me the favor of impersonating a Russian male doctor named Dr Smitsky. It was hilarious and worked two times before my toddler figured out the Dr Smitsky who say “this” like “dis” is actually kind of fun to talk to. So, now when I get on the phone, she, naturally, asks for him. Naturally.

“Hi. Doctor. How you?” She always says. And Smitsky responds back. And thus begins an 30 minute conversation with a fictionalized doctor that’s really my sister who just wants to help so that she can talk to an adult in the house.

Oh, the joys of being a parent to a toddler.

Does your toddler enjoy talking on the cell phone?