1. Wearing your pre-pregnancy clothing a little too long.
Listen- we all want to get as much mileage out of our non-maternity wardrobes as possible. At some point you have to stop fighting the inevitable. If the seams on your shirts are working overtime and your pant legs are beginning to resemble sausage casings, then it’s time to retire those bad boys. Don’t even think for one second that no one will notice if your fly is unzipped and you have three rubber bands keeping the button closed. Bite the bullet and invest in some maternity clothes already.
2. Falling for the illusion (or delusion) that you are “all belly”.
The thing about having a watermelon stuffed inside your abdomen is that your belly starts to dwarf the rest of your body. When I was about six months pregnant with my first baby, I remember actually thinking that my legs and arms were skinny. Of course, that dream came to an abrupt end the second I tried to squeeze my rear into an old pair of jeans. They didn’t even make it past my knees. Unless you are giving birth to a 35 pound baby, there is a good chance that some of that baby weight is going somewhere besides your belly. Leave the booty shorts and strappy tanks at home, and don’t forget to check your backside in the mirror before you leave the house. This is also the perfect time to remind you that non-maternity dresses will ride up so high on your belly that you run the risk of pulling a Britney Spears. Don’t let this happen to you.
3. Showing too much cleavage (or too much of anything).
You are going to notice all kinds of changes happening to your body as soon as you see those little pink lines pop up on that pregnancy test. The first thing that happens is your bosom starts to expand faster than Becky Anderson’s did over the summer between sixth and seventh grade. Whether you have ittie bitties, or your cup runneth over, eventually your lovely lady lumps will become so plentiful that you will have cleavage in a turtleneck. Less is more in the world of maternity fashion and you already have the best accessory in town- a beautiful baby bump. There is no need to distract from your natural glow.
4. Wearing maternity clothing too early into your pregnancy.
This is the inverse of maternity fashion mistake #1. I’ll be the first to admit that my heart skipped a beat the first time I slipped into a pair of elastic waist maternity pants. Two thoughts ran through my head: 1. Wow- this is really happening! and 2. Finally- an excuse to let it all hang out! The thing is, maternity clothing is made for women with large, round, bellies full of babies- not bellies with embryos the size of pinto beans in them. The clothing is cut larger, longer, and wider than regularly sized items. I know you feel fat and awkward with that in-between belly, but trust me- you will look a lot better in your regular clothing than you will pulling your pants up every five seconds or wearing a shirt that rivals a circus tent. Just wait it out.
5. Getting a drastic haircut.
I think pregnant women feel compelled to cut their hair for a variety of reasons. It might be because for the first time in their lives their hair is shiny and luscious, or maybe they are tempted to tame their mane by chopping it off. Pregnancy also does strange things to one’s self esteem and perhaps they are trying to regain some sense of their non-pregnant self. You also cannot underestimate how hormones, pregnancy brain shrinkage, and insomnia affect judgement. This might seem like the perfect time to channel your inner Michelle Williams and get that pixie cut you’ve always wanted. DON’T DO IT. Not only have you not factored in the shape of your new pregnant face, but you might end up with a high-maintenance haircut. The last thing you will want to do as a new mom who is running on three hours sleep is spend more than five minutes styling your hair. Have you ever tried to flat iron your hair while breastfeeding? I don’t recommend it.
What are some of your maternity fashion mistakes?