Top Ten Ways My Toddler Keeps Me Humble


1. She likes to poke me in the stomach and tell me I’m “mushy”.

2. She is the first one to point out spit up on my shirt.

3. Every time I experiment with a new hairstyle she tells me she doesn’t like it.

4. She pets the stubble on my legs and says I’m “sharp”.

5. Every morning she tells me to take a shower because I am stinky.

6. She insists that I wear a bathing suit to the beach.

7. When I tell her I love her she replies with, “I love Barbie.”

8. She points to my prickly underarms and asks, “What’s that?”

9. Whenever I kiss her she pinches her nose and informs me that my breath smells like coffee.

10. When my husband gets home from work she runs to the door screaming, “Daddy!!!!” and then throws herself into his arms for a fifteen minute cuddle session. What am I- chopped liver?

– Contributed by Morgan