We Found Out We’re Having a…

We Found Out We're Having a...
Boy? Girl? Any guesses?
We Found Out We're Having a...
Boy? Girl? Any guesses?

Last week I finally hit the 20-week mark, which meant that my husband and I could find out the sex of this baby. I’d made no secret of my desire to have a daughter after birthing two charming but very boy-ish boys–but as the date of my ultrasound approached (which was coincidentally my birthday), I started to worry that maybe publicly admitting that I was hoping for a daughter meant that I had already jinxed myself into having a third son.

I love my boys tremendously and wouldn’t trade them in for double-X models to be sure–but don’t most moms want a daughter at some point? My own mom passed away about three years ago from breast cancer (less than two months after the birth of my second son–but almost 23 years after her initial diagnosis), and she and I made the most of our relationship. We talked daily by phone from the day I left for college until the day she died, and I saw her regularly in person, too–having chosen to live less than a mile away. And since her death, I’ve really longed for a daughter of my own. I know that the relationship wouldn’t be the same as what she and I had, but a similar kind of connection sounded awfully appealing.

Anyhoo, when I woke up around 4 am the morning of the ultrasound, I was extra nervous–thinking that my focus on the baby’s sex instead of the more important stuff–like its health, which I had taken for granted up until that time–might mean that I was in for a horrible lesson about what really matters in life. (Don’t ask–the middle of the night brings all kinds of horrible thoughts into my head!) My boys’ 5:30 am rendition of “Happy Birthday” took my mind off of things for the next few hours, but when my husband and I arrived at the imaging center, I felt like the whole room might be able to hear the pounding of my heart.

Our sonographer turned out to be the same one we’d had for our nuchal translucency–but luckily she seemed much warmer than she had during our last ultrasound, where her silence made me worry about all kinds of horrible news on its way (everything was fine). After confirming that we wanted to know the sex of our baby, she squirted some warm gel onto my belly and got down to business. Of course, the baby’s legs were crossed when she started, so she proceeded to look at all of the important stuff first, like the chambers of its heart, the brain, and other biggies. I grasped my husband’s hand tightly when she said that she thought she knew what we were having but wanted one last look for confirmation. Shortly thereafter, she looked over at us and said, “It’s a healthy baby… girl.”

I started sobbing, and my husband just asked, “Are you sure?” At which point, she pointed out the labia and ovaries, which seemed to satisfy him. I looked upward and said a silent ‘Thank you‘ to my mom, as I had the odd feeling that she was there and had had something to do with the news. All along, I’d told my husband and no matter what the news was, this baby was simply the one we were meant to have. I got pregnant months before we planned to start ‘trying,’ which was a surprise to someone who had planned her last two pregnancies so exactly. And this time I’m due at the one time of year I never wanted to have a baby–just days after Christmas and New Year’s. It may sound odd or just plain ‘out there,’ but I’ve just had this feeling that someone else/something else had a hand in this child’s creation (despite my understanding that, um, it was just my husband and me in the room during conception).

I floated through the rest of the day and remain elated several days later. I’m still in a bit of disbelief that I finally get to have a daughter–as is my husband, given that 12 boys and ZERO girls have been born into his family over the past three generations. But I’m also jumping into the planning for this baby girl, going through all of our sons’ baby clothes and donating everything that screams BOY!–which sadly (or maybe happily?) leaves me with a total of about four onesies and a single infant gown. Let the shopping begin!

Did you find out what you were having before your baby was born? Did you have a hunch in advance? Was it correct? Leave a comment below!

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Melanie Monroe Rosen is a Brooklyn-based freelance writer and mom of two boys, ages 3 and 5, who is currently expecting her third (and very much final) baby in early 2013. A former senior editor at Parenting.com, Melanie was surprised to discover that all of her experience breastfeeding, homebirthing, babywearing, co-sleeping, and cloth diapering actually counted as professional experience. Sheโ€™s a big fan of reading both Scandinavian mystery novels (to herself) and favorite chapter books from her childhood, like those by Roald Dahl (to her kids).

14 COMMENTS

  1. Oh my gosh. I just started crying reading this. I always wanted girls only, no boys, and God blessed me with 2 girls and we are done. I’m so glad you finally got your wish. I am sure she will rule the house in no time, if she hasn’t already.

  2. this makes me want a girl (although i truly would be just as happy with a boy for #3). i have 2 boys now and they are so sweet. my mom and i are really BFFs so i would like that for myself too…

  3. awe I’m in tears! I had 2 boys and cried hard at the Ultra sound for my 3rd when the Lady said its a Boy! I was sooooooo sad. by the time i was pg with #4 and had my u/s it really didn’t matter and then I got my girl(followed by 2 more boys.lol) wouldn’t trade my boys in for girls but oh boy is it a diff relationship then I have with my only baby girl(now 11yr)

  4. I had 2 boys and was convinced it was a boy my third pregnancy. I was too scared to hear the gender at the ultrasound appt so we had the tech write it on a paper in an envelope. I asked my hubby to open it in the car and he said “it’s a boy.” disappointed I asked to see the paper and sure enough it was a girl. He wanted a girl as much as I did…we both cried. My hubby is 1of 3boys and always wanted a girl of his own. After both my pregnancies happened on the first try with my boys it took a few months of trying to get prego the third time. Well my daughter was born a few days early last dec 22. My 5and3year old boys dote on their baby sister, I love the pink and girls things and my hubby loves having “a daddy’s little girl.”

  5. I had a hunch from the moment I found out that I was pregnant that I was having a girl. We never even thought of a boy’s name. At our 20 week ultrasound, I was so glad that I was right! I would have loved a boy, too, but something in my gut said girl.

  6. Congratulations! We are expecting our first boy (any day now) after having 2 girls and I felt the same way you did. It is so much fun to shop for the opposite sex and the clothes are new and different. Best of health for the rest of your pregnancy. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. I just had my 4th girl and I knew she was a girl from the beginning. No surprise at all despite everyone else hoping for a boy. I would love to have a boy but my girlies are too much fun. Great article! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Awww, what a cute story. Brought me back years ago when I was at labor and delivery of #4 when my first 3 kids were boys I really hoped for a girl. As soon as the baby was born they announced “It’s a Girl” and I kept saying over and over “Are you sure?” I just couldn’t believe it since all we had in the family was boys and no girls on either side. Now I have 6 boys and 2 girls. Very blessed.

  9. We have 4 amazing and very boyish boys here. When I got pregnant with number 5 I assumed I was destine to only have boys. We have not peeked at the gender for the last 4 children.

    Turns out #5 was a girl. I never knew how much I wanted a daughter until I had one. I was stunned. I cried for three weeks and prayed I wouldn’t damage her somehow. I was a mess. shes a year old now and were expecting again. girl / boy who knows but inside I want another girl so she can have a sister

  10. What a touching story! My husband and I have three children and it was important to us for the first one not to find out the gender. I couldn’t tell you why it was important to us, but we both agreed and it worked out well for us. I was sure we were going to have a girl – we had a boy. Our second child we were on the same page with one another again, but wanted to know the gender. I had a strong feeling it was another boy and sure enough – it was. But somehow knowing the gender changed a lot for delivery and the process. After experiencing both ways we truly enjoyed not finding out the gender and all of the additional excitement etc (so hard to explain it all) that comes along with the reveal on delivery day. Having two sons I was secretly wishing for a daughter as well, but had prepared myself that it was going to be a boy. To my surprise – and everyone else’s that we know – we had a girl! I had a c-section and my biggest memory of that day was my husband cutting the cord and talking with nurses about how much shopping is be doing as a result of our new daughter! Ha ha. Congrats on adding a girl to your brood.

  11. I completely know how you feel about wanting a girl. Two boys in, I really hope our next is a girl too. And while I know that we’ll get what God knows is best for our family, I pray we agree that means much more pink. Because of the public perception tha every family needs both sexes I got an earful of sympathies after finding out our second was a boy. This next time, we’re not finding out because I would hate for my boys to feel for 5 months that they’re not as special as the growing girl or the growing boy to hear sympathies and disappointment. No one is sad looking into the face of their precious baby. Congratulations and sprinkle some girlie dust our way please!

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