We all have these days where we look back and wonder, “What did I do today?” This thought usually hits me as my husband is walking in the door from work: it’s dinnertime and I haven’t even begun to think of what to cook, and the house is an absolute mess. I instantly feel like I need to make an excuse or defend myself for what he will see, though he never gets mad with what he finds. This thought keeps me up at night, too. Everything I should have done runs through my head like a parade of self-inflicted guilt-trips. This blame I feel because I didn’t get most of my to-do list completed usually weighs me down and I feel so helpless.
But the other day, as I stared down at my happy, wiggly baby, I had another thought: you. YOU are what I “did” today. I fed you, bathed you, sang to you and played. I taught you, healed you, and made a positive impact. I kept you alive, and that’s no small or insignificant task.
The time I took to rock you, instead of folding the laundry, was an accomplishment I was happy to do. The time I let us play outside with friends was more important than the errands I wanted to run. The shower I needed to take during naptime was on my to-do list, just like making dinner and doing dishes, but none of it got done. I chose to comfort you back to sleep after a nightmare, snuggle you on the couch, and read another book to you, instead. Isn’t that much more important?
Some days, what we “did” might not be seen in monetary or physical accomplishments. Some days, what we got done is the little steps that add to the bigger picture. So 6:00 rolls around, dinner is not made and the toddler’s toys rule the house, but the day was not wasted.
What did I do today? I mothered.