What NOT to Get a Pregnant Woman for Christmas

I have been the recipient of some truly horrendous Christmas gifts in my time, especially during my two pregnancies.  However, nothing beats these presents for the worst gifts of all time……………………

Lingerie of any type; this was gifted to a pregnant friend of mine by her oh-so-not-thoughtful husband last year.  Not only could she no longer see her feet, she had to lie backwards on the bed with her legs sticking straight up in the air in order to wiggle into the “bottom section”.  By the time she had successfully maneuvered herself into the gift in question, she was so out of breath that it took her 5 minutes to be able to catch her breath enough to thank Mr. Thoughtful.

A bottle of wine; PREGNANT-WOMEN-DON’T-DRINK-ALCOHOL.  All kidding aside – I received a really nice bottle of wine last year when I was pregnant.  I ended up re-gifting it to someone else since I couldn’t use it.  My mind must have been clouded by all the hormones because if I was thinking clearly, I would have saved it for my first post-baby mental breakdown.

Weight-loss related gifts; does this really need an explanation?  Nothing says “you’re really starting to pack on the pregnancy pounds” like a box of slim-fast meal bars in your stocking.  The same goes for bathroom scales.

Automatic Twirling Spaghetti Fork; I know she has really had a craving for spaghetti lately, but let’s just say it’s probably not a great idea.  Yes – we are pregnant and we will eat A LOT.  No – we do not need to be reminded of this with cheap gag gifts.

The Clapper; I know pregnancy makes us tired and you are just trying to be helpful.  However, I think I am still capable of waddling over to the wall and flipping the switch.

Baby clothes; While I will appreciate any baby related items I may receive, I will inevitably have several baby showers and will probably get tons of cutsie sleepers.  I don’t want to seem greedy by any means, but since when is pregnancy a license to forget about me and only buy gifts for the baby?

Seat-belt extender; obviously given by some poor, unsuspecting husband who has no idea that he has just signed his own death warrant.  I don’t think – “Honestly honey – I just want to keep you and the baby safe” is going to be enough to save him.

Cheap Shower-Shoes; I realize that my feet are swollen and I don’t have any shoes that will fit right now.  However, I would not be caught dead in these things.  Since I the majority of people don’t have communal showers in their homes, I probably will not get a lot of use out of these.

Mumus; we all know what these are.  Huge, tent-like gowns made of notoriously ugly flower printed material.  If they aren’t cute on my 80 year old granny, they sure aren’t going to be cute on me.  Comfortable – maybe. But not cute.  Nor will they be appreciated.

Pregnancy Advice; if she wanted to hear your pregnancy horror stories, she would ask.  The same thing applies to advice on parenting – just don’t give it, unless asked.

What would you add to the list of What NOT to get a Pregnant Woman for Christmas??

-Contributed by Veronika

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Veronika Smith, Editor Veronika is a full time working mother of the two craziest, greatest boys ever, ages 9 months (Little Bud) and 10 years (Big Bud). This Kentucky mom holds a degree in business from Indiana Wesleyan University and is currently pursuing a second degree in nursing. She is a slave to all gadgets that promise to make her life easier and increase her "productive abilities". With her most recent family addition, this obsession has stretched to include the wonderful world of baby-sized gadgets! She also has a passion for fashion and the nose for a great deal. Several friends have (unflatteringly?) referred to her as the bargain bloodhound. They don't call her the coupon queen for nothing!

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