This is one of the biggest questions parents ask themselves right? When will we be ready for another baby? Is there a right time? Will something just click and then you’ll know it’s time? Do you start trying to conceive as soon as you give birth or do you wait ten years? This is the topic of discussion for today.
Some people have their children close together to “get it over with”. This way the diaper stage, the potty training, all those not so fun things seem to be done quicker. Parents like the idea of having their kids close in age so they will be good friends and share common interests growing up. Others like to space their children apart a few years. Once their children are potty trained or in preschool they feel they have more time to give to another child without spacing them too far apart. And then there are the parents who space their children very far apart. My sister and I are almost ten whole years apart. While we did not share similar interests because she was playing with Barbies while I was in High School, there are lots of advantages to this method, too. Kids who are spaced far apart are less likely to fight and have arguments. Older children can help change diapers and take care of their younger siblings, too, thus making it easier on mom. And when those siblings grow up, they can still be the best of friends like my sister and I are.
Other things to factor in are- when will you be ready to go through another pregnancy? Women who had difficult or very painful pregnancies may want to give their bodies more time to heal and prepare for another baby. Are you financially ready for another baby? Babies don’t come cheap and another one means another crib, more diapers, and more food. How did you like the spacing of your siblings? Did you have a brother or sister very close in age to you that was your very best friend? Or did they drive you nuts? How is the temperment of your first child? Are they very wild and rambunctious and do they take up all your time or are they completely mellow and easy going so that throwing another kid in the mix wouldn’t be a big deal at all? Do your other children want another sibling and ask for one or are they the jealous type?
These are all things to think about to help you decide. Age also plays an important role in this decision because women can’t have babies forever obviously. If your first child was born when you were very young, you have more time to have children than someone who decided to wait to have kids until they were in their 30’s or 40’s.
I think everyone thinks their way is right. People who have kids only one year apart admit that the first few years were very challenging but they wouldn’t have had it any other way. They say it gets much easier. Those with kids spaced further apart tell me that this gave them enough time to fully enjoy their first child by themselves and then have more time to enjoy the second baby while the older one was in school.
I myself am a creature of habit. I loved having nine whole years of being an only child and having my parents full attention. Then I longed and hoped for a baby sister and got one. I loved helping my mom take care of her and now that we are both adults, I cherish the close friendship that we have. I want that for my son. I want to give him years of my undivided attention and then I want to give him a brother or sister or two. Now he may not get a whole nine years of being an only child but I would like to give him at least five. I also had my son quite young so I could wait ten years and still not be rushed. My husband and I like the idea of him being in school when another one comes along and my body likes the idea of keeping its flat stomach that I worked so hard at getting back for a few more years.
The bottom line is that there is no right or wrong time to bring another beautiful baby into this world. It just depends on you, your family, your lifestyle, and what works for you.
Now it’s your turn. What factors played a role in helping you determine when you were ready for another baby? We love hearing from you all so please leave us a comment and let us know.