Everyone said my third child would be a boy. Without having confirmation from an ultrasound, my body and every midwives tale I knew pointed in the direction of “boy.”
I carried low. I carried narrow. I didn’t get the same bloated “look” that some, without any shame, confessed I had in previous pregnancies. I took a Chinese gender predictor at eight months pregnant, and it said “boy.” A little old lady at a gaudy American buffet, who herself had six kids, said it was a boy. Plus, I already had two girls, that, for many, was enough evidence that the universe would “honor” my husband and I with a boy.
We decided not to find out our third child’s gender in anticipation of this, or anticipation of everyone’s apparently well-intentioned well-wishes that after two girls, we finally get a boy. At the end of the day, having a child in and of itself is a lucky thing, right? That’s what I thought, but after nine months of hearing about the luckiness of boy, I began to have my doubts.
Perhaps there is a belief that having a boy when you’ve had only girls is something to be celebrated and having only girls is, well, unfortunate. This is what seemed to be communicated through all the “well-wishes” for boy that we received. Having a boy meant we were lucky, that the universe had finally dealt us a good hand. No one ever said that outright. But they always suggested it in their implicit comments about our third child. So, then to have another girl would mean that we were unlucky?
But why? Even if we were to have seven girls, would that make us unlucky?
Not to me. I said this throughout my pregnancy and continue to say it whenever I first look into my third daughter’s beautiful almond shaped eyes.
Since my daughter’s birth, I’ve often been asked if I was happy when I learned that I was having another girl. To this, I always say yes. I was, and am, happy. I’m proud of my three girls, that I produced them, and that they will one day grow to be fabulous women. And what can be better than that?
I’m not anti-boy. I think all children, boy or girl, are gifts that should be celebrated. One day, perhaps, we’ll have a boy, but if not, I’m actually okay with that too. For now, I have girls, three beautiful girls and I couldn’t be happier.
Are you a parent of children of one gender? How do you feel when strangers express their well wishes that you get “lucky” with the next child?