I’m expecting my second and like many women, I have some worries about becoming a mother of two. So let’s talk about the five top things we think about when having another child, and how we can overcome these fears.
1. You will not be able to love the second child as much as the first. I’m sorry but this simply can not be true. The moment I found out I was expecting my second, I loved that baby with a love so big it could never be matched. Just as much as I loved my son from the moment I found out I was expecting him! For some parents, the intensity of love they feel for their firstborn can be almost startling. You have never experienced that depth of emotion before so you can’t imagine it happening twice. But it does. And it will happen each time you have another child!
2. It will be twice as much work to add another child. I won’t lie, I worry about this one once in a while. I was so tired when my son was first born. I never slept, I was in so much pain, I was like a zombie. How on earth am I going to be able to do this with TWO?! It’s going to be twice as hard! While I do think having two is going to be a much bigger work load for me, I know I will have help, and my 4.5 year old will be self sufficient in many ways that will also help a lot. This always puts my mind at ease!
3. What worked for my first won’t work with my second. My first was a pretty good sleeper, he took a pacifier, he was a champion breastfeeder, the works. What if my second never sleeps or hates the pacifier or won’t latch on? Instead of thinking these negative thoughts, I try to think that I am so much more of an experienced mother this time around and even if things don’t go AS smoothly as they did with my first born, we’ll work it out!
4. I won’t lose the pregnancy weight like I did with my son. Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t just fall off in a month, but I got my body back. I’ve heard lots of women say they got their body back after their first but had a heck of a time getting it off with their second. I won’t lie, this frightens me a lot. I put my mind at ease by reminding myself that to eat clean and exercise every single day. The weight moms gain is necessary and there’s no weight we can’t get off if we put our minds to it!
5. I won’t be able to give two kids the amount of attention they deserve. My son has been the only child and the only grandchild for over four years. He is spoiled with love and attention and I think he deserves that. I worry sometimes that I won’t be able to shower him with the love and attention he needs now that I will have two. And will my second baby get enough attention from me?! Deep down I know they will. I know they will both be loved, get plenty of attention, and love each other so much.
What did you worry about when you were expecting your second? Anything you would add to this list?