“Please, please sit on the potty and just try… it’s so… FUN!”
This was me. For months. I begged and pleaded. Read 2 books on potty training. Bribed and borderline threatened. I tried being gentle and understanding. I tried being firm and no nonsense. I paused efforts for a few weeks or months and then tried again with a new method. I was hopeful my daughter to potty train before her brother was born. And then before we moved. And then before preschool started in the fall. She was 2 and then 2 1/2 and then 3.
And then, I gave up.
My 3 year old could care less than I was knee deep in diapers between her and her brother. The potty and independence and cool underwear didn’t appeal to her at all. And I was over the battle. Over the accidents. Over the stress. She was unhappy with “the super awesome and cool adventure of potty training” and I was practically beside myself. I never thought potty training could test someone’s spirit, but mine had been tested. And crushed.
I remember the conversation with my husband well. “I’m going to stop encouraging her to use the potty,” I said. “She doesn’t want to and it is negatively effecting our relationship. She’ll do it someday. On her own. So I hear.”
And she did, believe it or not. At the solid age of 3 years and 7 months, my daughter decided that she was done with diapers — day and night. One day she hopped on the potty without a struggle, wiped, washed hands, and asked me for the underwear that had be tucked in her dresser drawer for months. For a few weeks I popped her in Pull-Ups at bedtime and longer outings and before they caught and accident they’d wear out from so many ups and downs. My girl was officially potty trained. Finally!
So, when I caught the potty training bug with my second I ignored it. I waited for him to prompt everything. On occasion I’d ask if he wanted to wear underwear and I’d provide opportunities to use the potty, but that was all.
When he was 3 years and 5 months, two weeks after his baby brother was born (read, not the ideal time to potty train since I was still recovering) he decided he wanted to quit diapers cold turkey. Of course, I’d just bought a mega pack of his size diapers, but whatever, I rolled with it. To this day, I have over a hundred size 5 diapers tucked in my laundry room. He never used a diaper again.
So, the right age to potty train? WHEN YOUR CHILD IS READY. Not when you are ready. Not when the books say it’s time. Not when your sister’s kids potty trained or when your neighbor says it’s about time.
Little ones have a high capacity to learn and achieve new things; things like potty training. If we as parents open the door and provide opportunity, when they’re ready, they’ll walk through and gain confidence from making their own choice.
Thursday 25th of August 2016
Our son will be 3 soon, he's in pull-ups but still treats them like diapers. When we started with pull-ups, we'd drop him off to family with a diaper bag full of pull-ups but we'd pick him back up and he had regular diapers on and none of the pull-ups we're used. Should we just go back to regular diapers? HELP!!!
Wednesday 24th of August 2016
I did the same thing with mine. Waited until he wanted to. I figured he won't be 12 years old still in diapers and he will figure out on his own. Guess what I never had to deal with.....potty training. He decided one day at 3 years old to go on the potty and that was it. Never another accident or diaper. All these parents who struggle and complain about potty training I just smile because it so doesn't have to be an issue. Just wait it out.
jen st pierre
Wednesday 10th of August 2016
Our son will be 3 in September. We are just starting to potty train here.