7 Things No-one Tells You About Having a C-Section

This post was written by mommy blogger, Habiba. Habiba is from London, UK, and a new mother to a baby girl. She’s also a freelance editor and blogs about food (and life!) in her spare time.

csections

Coming up is an important milestone for me, which will mark three months to the date that I went through two life-changing events: 1) on 16 July 2014 I was blessed with a daughter, Baby K; and 2) I had a cesarean.

I have to differentiate between the two things and treat them as if they are entirely unconnected, because my feelings towards both are completely opposite. Baby K finally entering the world was the most exciting, emotional and overwhelmingly happy moment of my life so far (as I’m sure any mother will say of their child’s birth), but on the other end of the spectrum, going through a c-section was the most scary, painful and overwhelmingly shocking experience of my life so far.

I have wanted to write about the latter for a while now, because no-one talks about cesarean births in the way that they talk about natural births, do they? We hear in graphic detail about contractions, tearing, who took what pain relief, etc. I attended three antenatal classes and left feeling so well-prepared and positive about going into labour, but not once were cesareans discussed, even though according to the NCT approximately a quarter of births are by c-section. It may not sound like a lot, but to put this into context, the NHS Maternity Statistics covering 671,000 births for 2012–13 showed over 75,000 were by c-section. So we’re talking about a whopping 75,000 women that year that I would be willing to bet money felt as surprised at how little they knew about what they would subsequently go through, as did I.

But it’s not just the women that go through it that need to know; it’s everyone else they may interact with as well, because I have heard some real, tactless gems in the past few months. My favourite is this: on my way home from the hospital, I had walked to the car with great difficulty just four days post surgery, only to discover I had completely forgotten how to strap in Baby K’s car seat (and no one else knew either!). So there I was, clutching on the seat to keep it steady during the drive, in pain from walking a distance more than the ensuite bathroom and with high blood pressure, gritting my teeth every time we went over a speed bump, when a close friend called to say congratulations. She then told me I was lucky, at least I didn’t go through the pain of natural labour, and had the baby taken out for me with no fuss.

So, here are a few things I’d like to share with anyone else that might also think a cesarean is easy, and that I wish I had known too. Mostly, this post is for all those out there that have been through this too, as a sort of *virtual-high-five-sister* (please note some of it is pretty graphic, so if you’re pregnant, easily scared or simply don’t want to know, turn away now):

1. You feel everything:

Unless you are rushed to surgery in an extreme emergency, you will not be under general anaesthetic. You will most likely be given an epidural (an injection into the back that numbs the lower half of the body), and while that means you don’t feel any pain, you can feel everything else that happens during the operation. The sensation of being “unzipped” when they cut into you, the stretchy, pulling feeling when they open you up to take the baby out, and the feeling of the baby’s limbs travelling out of your body… everything.

You don’t just lie there as if you are on a massage table in a spa while all the “hard work” is done for you. The operation theatre is cold (I shivered throughout the operation. And I mean the teeth-violently-clattering type shivering), and not for one second do you switch off or forget that half of you is currently cut wide open.

2. You will need a LOT of pain killers:

Until the effects of the epidural wore off, I enjoyed some indescribable time with Baby K. We stayed in a small recovery ward, skin-to-skin and it was the most precious and emotional time. And then the epidural wore off.

Nothing, no blog post, could ever describe the pain. I still don’t know if it was the pain of post surgery or the uterus contractions every woman gets post partum (when your uterus begins “shrinking” back to its normal size) but I cried. I told my midwife I was going to pass out with pain. She gave me paracetamol and told me to try and relax. I did. It didn’t work, and I insisted they do something, anything, and eventually they gave me the maximum dose of morphine that they could, intravenously.

And a few hours later when the morphine wore off, I went through it all over again. I just couldn’t understand what was happening. The c-section was over, Baby K was out. Why was I in even more pain than before? FYI, I had also gone through 16 hours of contractions before the operation. But this was something else.

BUT here’s the thing: if I had known that this might happen, or if I knew that there would be a lot of pain coming, I would have coped much better. I would have been mentally prepared, and as only you can know your own pain threshold, I would have asked for pain relief earlier or possibly even in advance. My pain threshold is so low and I just kept thinking, it’ll get better, but it just got worse. And if I had known that, I would have insisted on the morphine straight away.

3. You have layers of stitches:

Around eight days post-partum, I had my third home visit from my midwife. I asked her (rather naively, in retrospect) why I felt so much pressing pain in my wound. She put her hand on mine and told me it was time to know what exactly the operation had involved; it would be difficult to hear, but she assured me that I would feel much better being in the know afterwards. She was right.

Contrary to the idea that a c-section involves one horizontal cut, baby out, and you’re closed back up and that’s it, you’re actually cut and stitched up layer-by-layer. There is skin, tissue, and muscle before you even get to the uterus! I understand the number of layers can differ, but in my case (and in most) there were SEVEN layers of stitches!

As my kind midwife informed me, having a tumour or appendix removed would be less painful. A caesarean is major surgery. Again, had I understood its magnitude from day one, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself for still being in pain only eight days later!

4. Even laughter hurts:

Any activity that involves engaging your abdominal muscles is quite painful for a good few weeks. Mostly, this can be managed by minimising such things like getting up, walking, bending over, etc. But what always caught me off-guard was the pain I felt doing something so natural such as laughing! Similarly, how do you stop yourself from sneezing or coughing—both equally painful?

Later, I read somewhere that if you hold a pillow against your abdomen when sneezing, coughing, laughing, whatever, it hurts less. This means I should’ve kept a cushion/pillow handy at all times (maybe one that could double up as a baby feeding pillow), but once again, I just had no idea.

5. You still experience post-partum bleeding:

Despite not giving birth naturally, women that go through caesareans are often surprised to find they have to go through the same post-partum experiences as those that do. This includes post-partum bleeding and a noticeable need for pelvic floor exercises (no need to elaborate on either, I think!)

6. You might put on a lot of weight during your post-partum period:

I wrote “might” because I’m not sure if this is true for everyone, but was certainly true for me. I put on a lot of weight during recovery—more than I did throughout the entire pregnancy. The reason is simple: you need to eat a healthy diet of 1,800–2,000 calories whilst recovering from this major operation, and at the same time, you can just about walk to the bathroom and back (i.e. you’re eating more than ever and not burning any of it in away).

It wasn’t until I was three weeks post-surgery that I was able to manage slow and short walks of about 10–15 minutes. Now, almost three months on, I still cannot imagine being able to do any type of exercise other than walking.

This is not to say I haven’t tried… just two weeks post-partum I went to Westfield (shopping centre). And more recently, I ran through my local supermarket in a rush. Both times, I suffered for days afterwards.

This point probably links the most with the next one.

7. You are more likely to experience the baby blues:

Everyone, to some extent, goes through a dip in emotions at some point post-partum. Looking back, however, I can now see and acknowledge that I went through more than a few dips and was most likely slightly depressed. In fact, research has shown that women who have a caesarean have a six-fold increased risk of developing postnatal depression. After nine months of waiting for your baby to arrive, and looking forward to being “yourself” again, you suddenly find yourself feeling worse than ever before.

For me, the moment I realised I wasn’t feeling quite right was when feelings of guilt kept creeping into my mind. Yes, guilt. Can you believe I found myself feeling guilty for not giving birth naturally? Of course, I knew that it was not my fault; the c-section likely saved both mine and Baby K’s lives. But I could not help but feel like it made me less of a mother for not having given birth the way nature had intended. Though she was fine, thank God, I felt as though I had somehow failed my daughter.

Luckily, I was well aware of the signs and symptoms of post natal depression, having witnessed a friend go through it just a few months previously. I recognised pretty quickly that was I was feeling/thinking wasn’t true and kept telling myself it would pass (as did my husband) which is why I think I did not slip into it fully.

Emotional support is crucial. If you already know exactly what to expect and are fully prepared, but have no emotional support, you will struggle. On the other hand, even if you have no idea what to expect (like me) but have a good support network around you, you will be ok… eventually! So make sure you don’t hesitate to reach out to your loved ones, your partner, your friends, whoever you want; most likely they want to help but don’t know how! By turning to them yourself, they’ll be relieved that you’ve done so and will step up.

Finally, I want to say something every woman that has had a c-section told me, and whether or not I believe it, I have repeated it to myself like a mantra every single day: you will feel better, one day, you WILL feel better.

This post was originally featured on Habiba’s blog, Being Us!

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Ladan Rashidi, Managing Editor. Ladan is a British mother of three, who moved to California in 2008 to live with her husband. Born and raised in London, she has the very British sarcastic sense of humor. None of her previous workplaces prepared her for becoming a mother and having the three most demanding bosses in the world, but also the cutest.

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20 Comments on "7 Things No-one Tells You About Having a C-Section"

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Matthea
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I just had my 4th baby but 1st c-section last week and this is all so true, every word! It is really nice to see I’m not alone in this.

Heather
Guest

I had my first c section 8 years ago, now I’m 8 months pregnant and about to have another one. Everything you mentioned was dead on. You brought up stuff I completely forgot about! Now I’m more scared then I was before reading this, but it’s good so I can get myself mentally prepared for this one.

gbem jimi
Guest

i agree with all these points

Nara
Guest
I’ve had two c section. My first one was very similar to what is described here. I was in lots of pain for one month. I also was on pain med for that period. I could hardly walk so I couldn’t hold my baby in my arms. To breastfeed her I had to lay her beside me on two stacked pillows as holding her in my arms was very painful. I gained lots of weight during that pregnancy and I believe that was the main reason of my long and painful recovery from a c section. My second pregnancy I… Read more »
Nara
Guest
I had two c- sections. My first one was almost exactly as described here. I wish I read a similar post and prepared myself. For the first 4 weeks walking, moving, laughing, coughing everything was painful. I was on prescription pain medication for one month. I couldn’t sleep well because normally I sleep on my side or tummy but because of the belly pulling and hurting I had to lay on my back only. I couldn’t hold my baby on my arms because of the pain so I had to lay her beside me on top of two stacked pillows… Read more »
Blaire F
Guest
While I recognize that everyone’s experience is different as people heal differently, I had an experience similar to yours. I also took prenatal classes but never imagined I would have a c-section! Thankfully breastfeeding took care of my weight loss for me even when I was in bed but I remember difficulty walking distances even at 6 weeks. Every time I moved it felt my incision was going to rip open, even holding my baby hurt. And it personally feels discouraging when people talk about how “easy” a c-section was. I also had someone say to me that if I… Read more »
Chechu
Guest
I’ve had 3 c sections. Actually my 3 girls were borned by c section. First was done after 12 hours of painful labour and when the baby’s heart beat started to drop due to stress they decided to take her out. Second was done four years later as the baby had meconium in the amniotic fluid. So there went my chances of having a natural birth. Finally third one was 5 months ago. Was a scheduled one as I had 2 previous c sections before and the risk of ripping the uterus was bigger with natural birth. I must say… Read more »
Alannah
Guest
Great post! I remember feeling them pushing my baby out and being numb from the neck down and wanting to see my baby being born and the doctors not letting me. I believe that the nurse who put the epidural in didn’t do it properly and when I finally got some relief it was too late and ended up causing me to have the surgery. I was in so much pain and on so many pain killers that on my way to the post surgery room I vomited and was shaking so badly they asked if I was cold. The… Read more »
Eli H.
Guest
I have to agree with most of the comments. Everyone deals with things differently. I had two c-sections, one emergency and one plannes for twins. I did shake a lot the first time but I was told that it was because of the medication they gave me. I did feel them cut into me. It was the craziest feeling because I knew I should feel pain but it never came. As for the pain, it was not so bad for me. There was pain but as long as I (or my husband) kept on top of my pain medicine (2… Read more »
Heidi
Guest
I agree with the others that, it seems as though you had a bad experience. From my personal experience and from others I’ve talked to this is not the norm. It does hurt to laugh and bend, sitting up after a c-section you find you use muscles you probably didn’t even know you had. My first was emergency, so I had to be put under for it, and I had more pain with it, probably from laboring beforehand. Still, I didn’t need much pain medication, and only took one or two pills after going home. My second, I knew I… Read more »
Jackie M
Guest
It sounds like you had a bad experience. I have had 2 c sections. One emergency and one planned. I was not cold for either of them. I did shake during my second but it was from the medication and the nurses used blankets to help with that problem. There is obviously pain and discomfort after a major surgery but in all honesty it really want all that bad. I did take my medications when I needed too but for both c sections I never finished all the meds I had been given. There is pain when you laugh but… Read more »
Alycia
Guest
While I appreciate educating people that c-sections are major surgery, I feel like there should be some sort of disclaimer that not all people experience these things as it seems overly scare-mongering. I feel for the author that she had such a hard recovery period, truly, but I had the complete opposite and I don’t want other mama’s to be terrified going into the OR after reading this. I wanted a natural birth, but my son was transverse at week 38 and I had to have a c-section. While I was shivering in the OR, I felt no pain afterwards… Read more »
Taisha
Guest
Thank you for this honestly written post. I had a c-section and for me, it was as positive experience as one new mom could hope for. One thing I can add that no one tells you about is post edema swelling. Within 2 days of coming home, I experienced a swelling of my limbs that I could never imagine. It was so bad that whenever I got on my feet, I could FEEL the excess water squish underneath my skin and it was gross. My doctor attributed the swelling to a side effect of all the medication I was given… Read more »
Ashley
Guest

I had to have an emergency C-Section with my son at 32 weeks. Maybe it was the circumstances, but I was grateful for that C-section. My recovery was quick and dare I say easy. It is important to stay on top of the pain meds, and get up and walk as soon as possible. I would do a C-section again in a heart beat.

Amber
Guest

I have had two, one emergency and one planned. Both times I wasn’t cold atball, and I did lie there cozily. The emergency one was after 25 hours of labor with 2 hours of pushing so not feeling that intense pressure was a relief. I actually only experienced one of these things, and that was the pain from the laughter. Otherwise I quite “enjoyed” my surgeries.

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