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How To Address Visitors Around Your Newborn

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You finally got pregnant, spent nine long months cookin’ that little human, and now he’s here! The baby you’ve been anticipating arrives safe and sound, and….. so have all the visitors. After all your hard work to create and birth your child, it’s no wonder why so many moms (especially first time moms) are so protective of their newborn. It can get pretty overwhelming to think of all the people who will want to come meet your child as soon as possible and the potential germs they might bring. So how do you politely, yet firmly, ask friends and family to keep their distance? How do you address all the different types of well-wishers out there? Some of us are okay with being more blunt and others, like me, tend to take the more passive road. Whichever the case, consider a few of these suggestions for addressing the many types of visitors you and your newborn will receive:


Germs by the door types of visitors

1. To the person who wants to come see your new baby 30 seconds after you’ve given birth

What we wish we could say: “Child birth was actually pretty taxing on my body and I would really love to have a few days to snuggle my newborn without any visitors.”

What you could actually say: “Give us a chance to get to know our little babe first. We will let you know when we are up to visitors.”


2. To the person who feels entitled to take your baby from your arms without asking first

What we wish we could say: “Excuse me? Ask first.”

What you could actually say: “I really don’t need someone to hold my baby right now, seeing as she was fast asleep two seconds ago and I’d like to cherish that for a moment.”


3. To the person who uses their finger to soothe your baby instead of the perfectly good pacifier they’ve got in their hand

What we wish we could say: “Get your finger out of her mouth. Right. Now.”

What you could actually say: “Since I don’t know where your hands have been, I’d feel a lot more comfortable if you’d use the pacifier instead of your finger in my baby’s mouth, please.”


4. To the person who has over-stayed their welcome

What we wish we could say: “Whew! Look at the time! You’ve been here quite a while and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. Time to get out.”

What you could actually say: “Thanks for stopping by to visit. You can come again, just give me a heads up first!”


5. To the person who laughs when you ask if she will use hand sanitizer first

What we wish we could say: “No, I’m not kidding. Either wash your hands with soap and water or take two seconds to rub on some hand sanitizer.”

What you could actually say: “I know, I know, I’m a little germ crazy, but I really would feel more comfortable if you’d put some sanitizer on before holding my newborn.”


6. To the person who doesn’t let you know they are coming before they show up (at the most inconvenient time)

What we wish we could say: “Well, I’m still getting used to this whole breastfeeding thing so if you don’t mind the real possibility of getting flashed a few times, come on in!”

What you could actually say: “Oh I’m sorry, now isn’t a very good time but we would love to have you back tomorrow. Just send me a quick text first.”


7. To the person who obviously really wants to hold your baby but is too shy to ask

What we wish we could say: “Please. Take her. Take her from me now.”

What you could actually say: “Would you like to hold my baby for a little bit while I get her bottle ready? It really would help me out.”

Or “Don’t feel shy to hold her, she really loves seeing new faces!”


8. To the person at church who hands your baby off to a stranger instead of back to mother

What we wish we could say: “Um….who are you? Give me my child back.”

What you could actually say: “If you’re done holding my baby, I’ll take her back.”


9. To the mother who knows everything about raising children successfully

What we wish we could say: “That unsolicited advice you just spent five minutes telling me may have worked for your child, but mine is a completely different person. I’ll pretend to be interested enough to try it out eventually.”

What you could actually say: “Thank you, I may try that out in the future but for now, we are going to keep sticking with the plan my husband and I made together.”


10. To the little old lady at the grocery store who gets a little too close

What we wish we could say: “My baby started crying not because she’s hungry or tired but because your dragon breath startled her. Please back away a few feet.”

What you could actually say: “Oh you have 5 kids of your own? Yeah, I’ve heard the time goes by so quickly, so I’m cherishing every moment! It’s your turn to check out now.”



Photo Source: Fat Owl Kids on Etsy

While I like to believe that I’m actually a pretty polite and non-confrontational person, all bets are off when I have a newborn and I’m sleep deprived. So while I’ll try to stick to the suggestions of what I should say to potential visitors, I may slip in a few of the more sarcastic requests instead. It all depends on whom I’m talking to.

Just keep in mind that it’s better to have a little patience with visitors because it would be a shame to offend someone you want your child to grow up knowing. If saying something to visitors in person makes you uncomfortable, try posting a general Facebook status before the baby arrives. Point out you’re worried about germs and that you’d like to spend the first few weeks as a family of three (or more) snuggling your new addition, alone. This also works well as a posted sign outside your door once you come home. Chances are good that your loved ones will understand and keep their distance until you feel ready.

What are your tips for handling visitors around a newborn? Share them in the comments below!

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