Surefire Ways to Embarrass Your Kids

embarrass featured

Because parenting can be so hard, sometimes it helps lift my spirits to picture how I’ll get back at my kids in their teenage years for all those early morning wake up calls, the embarrassing public tantrums, and for that one time my toddler pulled down my skirt in the middle of church while my baby simultaneously yanked down my shirt neckline because he wanted to eat. Parents endure some embarrassing stuff at the hands of their kids, so here’s how to get back at them (in a playful way, of course) with surefire ways to embarrass your kids:

  • Dance
  • Be any amounts of undressed
  • Combine those first two
  • Tell a heavily “punny” or dad joke. It’s even worse (better?) to do it in front of their friends.
  • Now, keep telling the same old jokes every time you see their friends with the same enthusiasm you had the first time
  • Call them by their childhood nickname

embarrass childhood nickname

 

  • Give a perfectly timed “I LOVE YOU, HONEY!!”
  • Share baby photos or any photos from their awkward pre-teen years on social media
  • Dress the part while picking them up from school or any event with friends: socks with sandals, bathrobe, mom jeans, coffee stains, you name it!
  • Show PDA towards them or their father
  • Over share, especially when no one asked for a story (i.e. their birth story, bad habits they had like wetting the bed until age 7, and that weird ER trip to pull all the wax from their ear canal)
  • Mention the sex talk in any way
  • Mention/hint/imply/reveal that you and their father have had sex at some point in life
  • Borrow your teenage daughter’s shirt or shoes and then proudly let everyone know you two wear the same size
  • Turn any mundane moment into a Broadway musical moment (practice your creativity)
  • Chaperone their school dance
  • Force them into a slow song with you at said dance
  • Be the overly aggressive parent at all their sporting events

embarrass cool momSome lesser commonly known ways to embarrass your kids include, but are not limited to:

  • Showing interest in test scores or social life
  • Introducing yourself to their friends
  • Offering advice
  • Walking into the room your kid is having a party in and being seen
  • Being confused by the latest technology (i.e. Asking if you can just put your document on a disk drive instead of the Cloud)
  • Starting texts with “Dear” and ending them with a salutation like, “Love, Mom”

But if you play your cards right, and take the gig far enough, what started as “embarrassing” can morph into “awesome:

embarrass dad
Utah dad Dale Price waved goodbye to his teenage son’s school bus every morning dressed in different costumes for a year to embarrass him!
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Heather lives with her husband, daughter and son and has learned to accept that Utah is now her permanent home. Before becoming a stay at home mom, she taught elementary school and loves to use that background to create fun activities to entertain her children. Though staying home with the kids is great, Heather has always enjoyed finding more ways she can keep herself sane, including elaborate cross stitch designs and playing with any puppy she can find. She particularly loves to read and write and prides herself in always remaining honest in her posts about life as a wife and mother, even when the truth is sometimes embarrassing.

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