Drop whatever you’re doing and go buy, borrow, or steal this book: The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide).
Is it cliché to say this book has changed my life? If it is, I no longer give a F! And I’ll give you an obvious heads up right now—if you are offended by the F-word, you’ll hate how often the author uses it to make her point. But I’d still encourage you to risk your pride and read the book anyways, despite the copious amounts of F-bombs, because the lesson is invaluable. So if you’re willing to not give a f*ck about the language, let’s continue.
Do you feel like you’re scrambling to get everything done in your life? Do you feel drained at bedtime and don’t know why because you feel like you haven’t done anything all day? Do you spend too much time worrying what other moms think of you or your kids? Do you feel guilty for not being “perfect?” THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU.
Author Sarah Knight takes you through all the reasons why you need to stop giving all your f*cks (cares) away and teaches you how to reserve your cares for what’s actually important to you. She calls this process her NotSorry Method and if the title of the book sounds familiar, yes, it is a parody of Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Knight’s version is simply for your mental clutter.
Knight’s examples are relatable, her writing style is very simple to read and to enjoy, and she leaves no room for you to get away with your excuses anymore. It’s time to make a list of everything you care about, everything you give to many f*cks about, and sort through that “mental barn load,” as she calls it, to organize and get rid of what’s weighing you down. In this way, you free up your energy, time, money, and cares for what really matters to you and what will give you your best quality of life.
Knight breaks her book into four categories to sort through your F’s: Things, Work, Friends/Acquaintances/strangers, and Family. I sat down and followed her guidance, writing everything (good and bad) that I worry and care too much about that clutter up my mental barn. Here’s a snippet of my list:
Some things I care about: hobbies, people’s feelings, dogs, hand sanitizer, writing, food.
Some things I no longer care about: people’s judgements about me, being a morning person, forced play dates to appear social, cooking dinner.
This book was full of so many “Ah-Ha” moments for me that I ended up underling most of it. One I really enjoyed was this quote:
Not giving a f*ck means taking care of yourself first—like affixing your own oxygen mask before helping others. Not giving a f*ck means allowing yourself to say no. I don’t want to. I don’t have time. I can’t afford it. Not giving a f*ck—crucially—means releasing yourself from the worry, anxiety, fear and guilt associated with saying no, allowing you to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do. Not giving a f*ck means reducing mental clutter and eliminating annoying people and things from your life, freeing up space to truly enjoy all of the things you do give a f*ck about. This might sound selfish, and it is. But it also creates a better world for everyone around you.
That’s when it hit me: I can be the better mother I’ve always wanted to be (more patient, more fun, more everything) by simply reallocating where I put all my energy. It’s not just the sheer amount of things I’m doing during the day that exhaust me because believe me, I’ve cut out everything extra that I can. I’ve quit jobs, stopped hobbies, given up Facebook, all in attempts to have more time and energy to be a better mom and get crap done…. to no avail. I still felt like I was running behind, on an empty tank of gas. But ever since I’ve given up my worries about things that gave me added anxiety, things I have never enjoyed and that don’t actually matter in the long run (like cooking dinner, for example), I’ve finally found that renewed energy and love of life that I’ve been searching for.
And I’m 99.9% sure this book can help you do the same for yourself. So stop reading my review and go read the book, already!